let everything happen to you
The Cost
/
0 Comments
"The cost of some friendships is too high. And you must let them go. You may feel like a bad person because of this. You may feel disliked. But sometimes you outgrow things. It is as simple and as complicated as that. You do not have to be liked by everyone. Let me say that again: YOU. DO. NOT. HAVE. TO. BE. LIKED. BY. EVERYONE. And you must be courageous enough to accept that. Not everyone grows up. Not everyone takes risks. So not everyone deserves what little time you have."- Meg Fee
the cost of some friendships is too high. too high. that struck me like a bullet in the back. it brought me back to a friend i had sometime ago. ending certain friendships, in my case, with a calm and quiet demeanor, was anything but calm in the back of my mind. it turned into utter disbelief that a human i'd known for so long could be such a jealous, imprudent, and conniving person. ulterior motives, that one. i awaited her approval, i cherished when she expressed moments of fondness to me (rare), and i always, always wanted her to be happy and safe. loyal cannot describe what i was to her.
but when i suffered through dark times from the turmoil and destruction of my own mind, crying out for her to be just a little bit closer, a little more understanding, a little more present and one-on-one, it was not possible.
i don't think she ever knew how badly i struggled during the time that i did. after she mentioned that i was "stressing her out" early on (apparently my sadness stressed her out), i spoke mum.
i've learned to not tell (hardly) anyone my problems. because she proved to me that most people are glad you have them. and glad she was (there is rhyme and reason to this- too many incidents spoke it as truth). and yet, i furthered my life as best i could and as strong as i knew how to. and i did. i did it in the best, most fruitful way possible. i did it without her or her longtime friendship, which once was an expensive bowl, carrying the weight of our secrets, dreams, tears, and memories- it now had too many cracks in it and was becoming useless. so i got rid of it. and for that, i have been lighter. healthier. carrying the weight of my own dreams and secrets.
it's amazing how even just one antagonistic soul in your life can suck out the lights of your happiness in your soul, your comfort.
the cost of some friendships is too high. i'd much rather save my pretty pennies.
the cost of some friendships is too high. too high. that struck me like a bullet in the back. it brought me back to a friend i had sometime ago. ending certain friendships, in my case, with a calm and quiet demeanor, was anything but calm in the back of my mind. it turned into utter disbelief that a human i'd known for so long could be such a jealous, imprudent, and conniving person. ulterior motives, that one. i awaited her approval, i cherished when she expressed moments of fondness to me (rare), and i always, always wanted her to be happy and safe. loyal cannot describe what i was to her.
but when i suffered through dark times from the turmoil and destruction of my own mind, crying out for her to be just a little bit closer, a little more understanding, a little more present and one-on-one, it was not possible.
i don't think she ever knew how badly i struggled during the time that i did. after she mentioned that i was "stressing her out" early on (apparently my sadness stressed her out), i spoke mum.
i've learned to not tell (hardly) anyone my problems. because she proved to me that most people are glad you have them. and glad she was (there is rhyme and reason to this- too many incidents spoke it as truth). and yet, i furthered my life as best i could and as strong as i knew how to. and i did. i did it in the best, most fruitful way possible. i did it without her or her longtime friendship, which once was an expensive bowl, carrying the weight of our secrets, dreams, tears, and memories- it now had too many cracks in it and was becoming useless. so i got rid of it. and for that, i have been lighter. healthier. carrying the weight of my own dreams and secrets.
it's amazing how even just one antagonistic soul in your life can suck out the lights of your happiness in your soul, your comfort.
the cost of some friendships is too high. i'd much rather save my pretty pennies.
About Post Author
